I thought I knew myself
inside out - who I, Harriet Ruth Winn was. I thought I knew my likes,
dislikes, passions, interests and values definitely. I was sure about it – I’m
a pretty stubborn person, I know what I want and what I don’t. So when this
thing happened which made me take a step back and re-evaluate everything I
thought I knew about myself, it was a bit unsettling (understatement of the
century). It blew everything out of the water. I spent many a sleepless night
questioning, questioning, questioning what the heck was going on. This ‘thing’
that had happened seemed in contradiction with the plan I had written out for
my life as a child, it seemed in contradiction with some of my beliefs and
utterly confused me but simultaneously confirmed many of the inklings I’d had
during my life to date – inklings which I’d dismissed, ignored, put out of my
mind. But finally, at the age of 18 (flipping heck how am I an adult, this is
unreal), I’ve got to a stage where I’ve got a handle on this bubbling pot of
emotion, feeling and turbulence. I’ve got to a place where I can look at
myself, and at my life and say – “Yeah that’s me, and I’m allgood with it. In
fact I’m more than allgood. I’m delighted and proud that I can embrace who I am
and present myself openly and honestly to myself and to the people in my life
who I love and cherish.” That thing that happened was meeting and falling in
love with a girl. But this isn’t just any girl. She’s the most incredibly
compassionate, kind, intelligent, hilarious, courageous, passionate and
beautiful human being I’ve ever come across. She’s the most special person in
my life and no one has ever summoned such intense emotion within me as her. I
don’t want to leap prematurely and put a definite label on myself, however, I’m
pretty sure I’m gay. And, you know what? I’m cool with it and I’m so, so happy
that at last I can express it honestly, confidently and publicly. I love Jess
Dellabarca with my whole heart and I’m ready, we’re both now ready to share
that with the world.
